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Here is an attempt to introduce some humor about orchidi growers. Most of the "definitions" were posted to on-line orchid forums by various individuals, and I have reproduced them here with their consent. "Definition of an Orchid Addict" has been moved to pages 2 through 4. Also, you might enjoy seeing some amusing orchid pics in the Photo Galleries. If you have a good one to add to this list, please e-mail it to Yoshi Nomura |
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Amusing Definition for a New Word Rule: select a real word and either add, subtract or alter one character to create a "new word". Then supply an amusing definition related to orchids or orchid culture. Example: Peedling - (noun) any small orchid plant that has been peed upon by one's favorite pet. (Note: the base word is seedling) |
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Contributor |
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| Cattastrophic: (adjective) - used to describe an event where one knocks a pot off the bench, breaking the flower spike on a cattleya that was ready to bloom for the first time. | Ron |
| Cattatonic: (noun) high-nitrogen fertilizer for lackluster cattelyas. | Ron |
| Cattsleya: (noun) - cattleya killer. | Colleen |
| Dorkal: (noun) - deformed dorsal sepal. | Hayseed |
| Flagrance: (noun) - disagreeable fragrance from a bulbophyllum. | Colleen |
| Insectiside: (noun) - some insecticide that you prefer to keep on the side, away from you, because you are afraid that it may harm you, too. | Hélène |
| Insesticide: (noun) - unnecessary tool because the little buggers end up too inbred to procreate after five generations. | MileHigh |
| Masdefallia: (noun) - inability to grow masdevallias. | Colleen |
| Pseudoblb: (noun) - pseudobulb that has succumbed to black rot. | Marci |
| Pseudobulk: (noun) - phenomenal growths achieved by illicit use of steroids. See Bulbophyllum Barry Bonds 'Balco' FCC/MLB. | Binky/Yoshi |
| Scattleya: (noun) - fragrance of a cattleya that cats hate. | Marci |
| Sinicatt: (noun) - minicattleya that you purchased by saying "just one more" but shouldn't have. | Marci |
| Spetal: (noun) - splashed petal. | Hayseed |
| Vandaxism: (noun) - willful or malicious destruction of vandas with an axe or a similar tool. | Yoshi |
| Whater: (verb) - to try to guess what kind of hybrid the orchid is while watering it. | Hélène |
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